If What You See is What You Lack
by East Coast Ryder
Summary: While Anakin rampages through the Jedi Temple, there is but one objective: to destroy the Jedi, yet there is one who escapes his trail of horror, and survives. But he remembers nothing…
1. Prelude

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or related concepts. The only things I own are things/people/aliens you don't recognize, unless otherwise stated in a disclaimer.

A/N **_PLEASE READ_**: This is my second SW fic. A couple of things: I am much more knowledgeable about the original trilogy than the prequels, so therefore I may have screwed things up. If I do, tell me specifically what I did wrong, and where it is referenced/not referenced in any movie, (except the 2004 original trilogy DVDs,) and I shall do my best to explain or fix the problem. Second, I did put the Prelude in present tense for a reason, but the main story will be in past tense. Third, this story is **_AU_**. Repeat, **_AU_**. So, if I get a snotty review saying something like "This story is wrong! No one survived the Jedi Temple," it will be disregarded. Last, in the Prelude, I think Anakin is OOC in his dialogue. Any questions or comments will need to be put into reviews, which I do reply to. Flames will be used to torch Jar-Jar and Palpatine.

Prelude

"_Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What are we going to do?" I hear the youngling say. I scoff silently. Does this young one not sense what Anakin Skywalker is here to do? Peeking in from my hiding place outside the door of the council chambers, I see the Jedi-turned-Sith activate his lightsaber, frightening those inside._

_Though I am only a Padawan, I realize what I must do. I reach for my own saber, and activate it. _

_I step into the council room, feeling dwarfed and in over my head. "Stop," I say, trying to act and sound brave, yet failing to accompany my stance with strong words. "D- Don't do this."_

_The older Jedi turns to face me, his cold blue eyes boring into my face. Now I know I do not look brave; I can feel myself wince as his concentration changes from the younglings to me. I hold my lightsaber in front of me, trying to look confident, but failing to do so as Skywalker steps toward me._

"_Do you think it wise, Padawan, to cross sabers with a Sith?" He inquires, still staring at me. I feel my heart thumping faster, and I can tell that he senses my fear._

"_No," I say almost instantly. "It is not wise, nor rational. But it is my duty as a Padawan to protect others. Even at the cost of my life."_

"_Though your actions do not show it, you are intelligent. But, unfortunately, wisdom will do you no good if you can't fight." The Sith raises his lightsaber, preparing to attack._

_I prepare to parry his assault, and his blade falls, clearly intending to miss me, but as I dodge his second swipe, his lightsaber singes my robes. _I must draw the battle away from the young ones_, I think to myself, parrying a third swing, and a fourth. I back myself out of the chamber as Anakin continues to attack me._

"_You are as good as they say you are," I say to him, panting._

"_You are better than I would have expected, boy, but you are still no match for me," he says._

_Several younglings sneak past Anakin, running out of the temple. But the master senses them. He uses the force to send me flying across the hall, then goes in pursuit of the children._

_My head collides against the glass window, and as I fall, I see a flash of what he sees, and feels…_

The younglings run down the stairs; clone troopers firing at them, and I… no, he, impales one with his lightsaber. I can hear his thoughts.

_To protect you, Padmé, to protect us and our child. To protect you. _He stares across the sky at an apartment complex. I can see a figure at a windowsill, staring at the temple, and I cannot tell if it sees him or not, but his thoughts of the girl diminish as he attacks more younglings, and soon I see no more…

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The dawn is near as a young woman walks onto her balcony, smelling smoke and exhaust. She sees a boy, not even fourteen by the look of it, dressed in Jedi garb, hanging off the small fence that encloses the balcony. She pulls him onto her porch and attempts to wake him.

"Wake up, boy," she says, shaking his shoulder. He slowly drifts into consciousness. "What happened to you? Who are you?"

"I…" the boy says, his green eyes looking at the woman, confused. "I don't know."


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or related concepts. I also do not own Corulag Academy. The only things I own are things/people/aliens you don't recognize, unless otherwise stated in a disclaimer.

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! This is my first Star Wars fic, so please do not be too harsh in your reviews, however, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Flames will be used to heat up people on Hoth, who need them more than I do.

Chapter one

_Three Years Later_

My name is Blaise Arrando. Or, at least that is the name I have come to believe I have. Everything further than three years ago is lost to me. The only clues to my past are a set of Jedi robes and a lightsaber that the woman who found me, my adoptive mother, found next to me.

My mother… she was kind. A former senator from Alderaan, who could not, would not, leave Coruscant, even after the corruption of the Republic by the Emperor Palpatine. I had once asked her if we could leave and go to Alderaan. But she flatly refused.

"Why do you want to leave here? Sure, it's battle-scarred, but it still is better than traveling 10 parsecs to Alderaan," she'd say, and leave it at that. But it didn't change my mind. When I turn 18 next year, I'll move out of this place and get my butt going somewhere else. I'm already working on a ship.

Though I am only 17, I look older than my age and can easily walk into any pub or bar on the underside of Coruscant without drawing attention or suspicion to myself. My mother would probably kill me if she found out what I spend my time doing, but I don't intend to get caught. I'm a good liar, and quite possibly the only way I could get caught is if I got into a nasty bar fight like some of my friends have.

There's actually a pretty good reason I'm down there. It's easy to find parts suppliers down there that will usually barter for them; perhaps even just give me the parts. Like I said, I'm working on a ship. I obtained a junked-up Naboo fighter about a year back; an explosion victim with horrible hull damage, but not much else wrong with it except engine and repulsorlift troubles. My mom doesn't really care about the parts I bring home, considering the fact that she can't tell a speeder from a starship. It also helped for my credibility that I had to use a set of repulsorlifts to replace my speeder's malfunctioning set.

I slid into my usual seat at the bar, next to one of my main suppliers. "What do you have this time, Jhen?" I muttered to the Twi'lek next to me.

"Arrando, long time no see," Jhen replied in Huttese.

"Not for lack of trying. How're things on Tatooine?"

"Same as usual." He slid a picture across the bar toward me. "About the parts… I recently came into possession of a large amount of sheet metal. Good condition stuff, too. Maybe we could arrange something?"

I took a glance at the photo. He was right; it was in real good condition. "Might need some to fix up the hull," I muttered to myself. "What do you want for it?"

"How much do you need?"

"Enough to cover a small fighter."

"Really, Arrando, just how junked up is this fighter of yours?" Jhen rolled his eyes and I could tell he was joking, at least partially. I'm good at reading people. "Maybe I can just hand you over some. Either way, I still owe you for that last fight you got me out of."

"You have to admit that that was cool, though."

"Shoot, kid, you whipping out that blaster and getting that bounty hunter seconds before he would have shot me is not cool."

"But you do owe me."

The Twi'lek sighed. "Usual drop-off?"

"Yep. I'll be there, same time, same place tomorrow. If I need more, I'll catch you at some point but…" I took a glance at my watch. "I gotta go. Thanks, Jhen."

"See you around, Arrando."

I casually walked out of the bar and walked into my speeder, launching myself into the air and into traffic, which was light considering the time of night it was, late enough to miss rush hour but too early to hit late night traffic. I sped home as fast as I could, enjoying the wind whipping through my somewhat long black hair.

I pushed the accelerator to keep up with the other drivers, ending up side by side with a familiar speeder.

"Hey, Blaise!" The pilot of the other speeder called. I took a quick glance at the pilot.

"What do you want now, T'kayna?" I yelled across to the girl.

"You're mom's looking for you."

I cursed under my breath. "What did I do now?"

"Dunno. She just mentioned it in passing." T'kayna winked at me. "Lookin' good, Arrando."

I gunned it, giving her a two-fingered salute. "Hope I don't get too pasted."

"Good luck," she called after me.

My speeder veered right, exiting the main flow of traffic, and aiming for the parking area of our apartment building.

"I can tell this won't be pleasant…" I muttered, walking through the doorway to face my mother.

0-0-0-0-0-

"What do you want?" I asked, crashing on the couch. "Am I in trouble?" I put on my best innocent look; unfortunately it wasn't necessary.

"Not that I know of." My mother cocked an eyebrow, her blue eyes shone with an inquiring look that could only mean she was suspicious of something. "Why, are you doing something that should put you in trouble?"

"Perhaps. What's the issue? T'kayna said you were looking for me."

"Are you?"

"Well, if I'm not in trouble, what's up?"

"Can't a mother worry about her son?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I'm well within curfew. There's a reason you wanted me."

Mom laughed and shook her head. "I could never get anything past you."

"What's funny is that I can."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She lifted an eyebrow.

"Nothing…" I said innocently. My mother threw a pillow off the couch at me. "Ow… Jeez, you treat me more like a little brother than a son…"

"Perhaps I do." And it was true. Most people did think that we were either siblings or married; no one ever thought at first that we were mother-son. Of course, considering my appearance, people thought I was over 21. One person even went as far to say I was 27, my mother's age.

"But, seriously. What's wrong?"

She smiled. "I got the response to your application to Corulag Academy."

"And?" I asked, standing up anxiously.

"You're in!"

"Yes!" I said. "I'm getting the hell out of here!"

"What, you don't like me anymore?"

"No, I'm just sick and tired of this planet. I'll finally get to get off it, and seeing as you have issues with space travel, I'm not going anywhere with you."

My mother narrowed her eyes, a dangerous expression. "I find that insulting."

"I find it boring."

"Eh, do what you want…" She turned toward her room. "I'm proud of you."

"'Night, Mom. I love you."

"Love you too."

0-0-0-0-0-0-

I stood on the balcony facing the abandoned Jedi Temple. A cool breeze passed through the air, somewhat ominous, but feeling good nonetheless. I looked at the object in my hands, a lightsaber.

"Who am I?" I whispered to myself. Everyone I knew, everyone I could see had a family, a past. A future. What was I to the galaxy?

"Blaise?"

I turned toward the door to face my mother, wrapped in a robe over her nightgown.

"Why are you still up?" She asked, leaning on the fencing next to me.

"Can't get to sleep."

"What's wrong?"

I thought a moment. Should I tell her the worries that were inside my heart, my soul?

"You're hesitating again." She put her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Blaise?"

"I'm just… so confused. Lately I've been wondering… Who am I? Why did I end up here, and why can't I remember anything?" I turned and pounded my fist on the wall.

There was silence for a moment.

"This is where I found you," she whispered, staring at the stars. "You were laying on the fencing, like a rag doll. That lightsaber was laying on the floor, as if it was flung out of your hands."

I turned back to face her.

"You didn't remember anything. I asked who you were, where you were from, who your parents were. But you didn't know.

"I was hurt by this. Shocked that you were hurt that badly to slip into amnesia. And I have wondered too, over the years. Wondered who my little boy really was."

"I am not a little boy," I said.

"No. Of course not. But you will always be _my_ little boy," She said, hugging me. "Who are you? You are Blaise Arrando, 17, of Coruscant. And that is all that matters."

And I suppose, in that instant, she was right. For now, I am Blaise Arrando.

But I still want to know.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or related concepts. The only things I own are things/people/aliens you don't recognize, unless otherwise stated in a disclaimer.

A/N: Thank you again, reviewers. This is my first Star Wars fic, so please do not be too harsh in your reviews, however, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Flames will be used for Ewok BBQ's, all non-flamers are invited!

Chapter Two

_I walk along the narrow ledge, lightsaber ignited, ready to defend the natives against the droids around the corner._

"_Be careful, young Padawan," Master Oorla says, his blond hair fluttering in the wind. He brushes some out of the way from his ice-blue eyes. "I sense a trap."_

"_Yes, master," I reply. _

_And a trap there is. Thousands of droids begin firing upon us. I am able to deflect most of the blasts, but Master Oorla is less fortunate._

"_Ah!" He gasps, grasping his shoulder and deactivating his lightsaber. I manage to pull him into a cavern for the time being, and safely escort the people into their hiding place. The droids continue to fire as I run back to help my master._

"_Are you all right?"_

_The ever-witty Master Oorla replies, "I was just hit by a battle droid. I think I am injured, but I could be wrong."_

_I roll my eyes, and lift him up. He drapes his arm over my shoulder and I carry him into the caves.

* * *

_

My mother shook me awake, and my dream was no more. The last shreds of it fly away from my memory as I drift into consciousness.

"One of these days, Blaise, I am going to make you get a job, you lazy bum… Get a shirt on, already!"

If you can understand this, you understand my mom: She will wake up at dawn, but she is by no means a "morning person." I don't understand it, but then, no one does.

"Good morning to you, too," I said, crawling out of bed and reaching into my closet for a shirt to put on.

"There's food in the kitchen. I'm going to visit my sister, so you're on your own today. Don't get into trouble, because if I have to bail you out of prison again, it will be your head. See you tonight," Mom said, digging through her bag. "If you need anything, Ms. Hanna next door can help you."

"That crazy old lady?"

"Sometimes I don't know what you lack more of, common sense or kindness." She shook her head. "I'm heading off."

"How're you getting there?"

"The speeder."

"You know how to fly that?"

"…A little."

"You're taking the bus."

Mom rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Goodbye, Blaise."

"'Bye, mom."

She left the room as I stood up from my bed to look in the mirror. I ran a comb through my hair and pulled on a jacket.

Walking down the hallway, I tried to remember what had happened in my dream. All that came of that was a headache. I turned into the kitchen, grabbed an apple, sat down and took a bite.

There was a knock on the door. I stood up and dashed through the living space and opened the door to the parking spaces.

"Arrando."

"T'kayna."

The girl stood at my doorstep, her gray eyes narrowed and her light brown hair twisted into a bun.

"What do you want _now_?" I asked, leaning against the doorway.

"Just want to talk. Take a ride?"

I stepped out of the doorway and we slid into her speeder.

* * *

"What's on your mind?" I asked after a while of cruising. 

"You seem pushy today. What's on yours?" T'kayna asked, turning toward me. Traffic had all but stalled.

"Nothing," I replied, a little too fast.

"Whatever you say. Anyways, the emperor is recruiting for his personal army, and my dad's gone to get in on it."

"Well, your dad is somewhat of a sadist."

"Got a point. But that means I have to go off-planet to live with my mom…"

I looked at her curiously. I thought that her mom had died a long time ago. "Where does she live?"

"Corellia. Ten parsecs away."

"Whoa. Well, at least think of it this way. You're 18 in, what, five months?"

"You don't understand. My mom is an alcoholic, and it doesn't exactly help that even before she started drinking she hated me," T'kayna began to sob. "It's not fair. Five months of living in that torture…"

"Hey, I survived these last three years not knowing who the hell I was. Forced to learn all this stuff again, though I remembered most of it. Forced to deal with my mom, who is the most eccentric person you'll ever meet, except the cranky old lady who lives in the apartment next to us. Forced to grow up without a father. At least you have a father."

"It's not the same," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "I should take you back…"

"Yeah. Maybe you can come back in a few months. Who knows?"

"Maybe…"

* * *

T'kayna wasn't exactly my best friend, nor was she my enemy, but she annoyed me to no end from the first time we'd met. 

Actually, that was the same occasion as the time my mom had to bail me out of prison. I was 15, driving my speeder, minding my own business, (T'kayna just happened to be driving the other way,) and we crashed. The police busted her for causing an accident, and me for driving without a license.

I actually have told people about it, (my time in jail, not the whole accident part.) Pathetic reason, I know. Thankfully, the underside of the city doesn't care why you were in jail, just the fact that you were in jail. That's how I got most of my parts deals. Down there, reputation is everything.

Somehow or another, after T'kayna had dropped me off, I ended up in my room, once more fingering the lightsaber. I had never figured out how to activate it, but then, if I did, what would it do for me but give me knowledge on it? What could I do with a lightsaber and no training?

The door to my past is firmly shut. The only clues as to the location of the key are the robes and the lightsaber.

_Maybe it would do me good to check out the remains of the Jedi Temple_, I thought.

And remains they were, charred by a fire, tagged by gangs and punks, windows broken and towers collapsing.

I slid open a drawer and carefully set the lightsaber in it. I would only get one chance to see the temple.

Maybe that's all I need.

* * *

I kicked my speeder into gear and launched it. There was no doubt in my mind that any speeder just randomly sitting in front of the abandoned Jedi Temple would draw suspicion. So, it was clear that no matter where I went, there would be some walking involved. I sidled into traffic, thinking about a place to park. 

Finally, it hit me. I pulled out of the main line of speeders and set myself down on the far side of a shopping center close to the main structure of the temple. I looked around and, once I was sure no one was watching me, I slid out of my speeder and walked toward the Jedi Temple.

Somehow, seeing it up close for the first time sparked something in my mind, and I could, for a moment, see two lightsabers crossed in battle ahead of me, as if I was holding one of them.

At that point, I really wished I had my lightsaber with me.

I took a deep breath and jumped the three or four feet across to the temple, my foot almost missing, but I caught myself and was able to get onto a windowsill. I climbed through the broken window, and dropped to the floor.

And as I turned around to begin my exploration, I stared right into the face of a dead Jedi.

On second glance, there were dozens of dead Jedi, young or old, human or alien. I bent down to more closely inspect one of them.

It was a Twi'lek female, very young, not much more than three or four years old. The injuries that she had died from were clearly not from a blaster. Not from a blade. They were half burned, half sliced, which could only mean one thing.

"A lightsaber wound? But… how?" I asked to no one. I stood up, and continued to walk through the room until I found a few doors. The central one had a sign above it, and I stood on tiptoe to read it.

"Archives…" This looked promising. I pried open the door and walked into the room, filled with data tapes and assorted other things such as books and computer consoles. I peered around and entered another door that wasn't marked, but I felt that something in that room was what I was looking for.

The door creaked; dust flew off of it like most of the rest of the building, but for some reason there was much more dust in this area than the rest. Looking around, I could see that there was some form of holograph projector. I pressed a few buttons and it activated. The recording appeared to be a security taping that had was set at a time around three years ago. One more button, and the holograph began to play.

Lightsabers were lit; two figures were standing close, looking at each other. Both wore dark robes, Jedi robes.

"Do you think it wise, Padawan, to cross sabers with a Sith?"

"No. It is not wise, nor rational. But it is my duty as a Padawan to protect others. Even at the cost of my life."

I bent closer, and the two holographic forms began to duel. They parried a while, then…

"You are as good as they say you are," the shorter form says.

"You are better than I would have expected, boy, but you are still no match for me."

They continued. In the background, kids crept out of the adjacent room. The tall figure seemed to notice them without seeing them. He sent the other form flying through a window.

And at that moment, I realized…

The small figure was me.

I am a Jedi.

**Review Responces**

**Giovani: I'm glad you like it. Yay! You're the first reviewer! So, therefore, you get a chocolate chip muffin! I intend to keep going, considering this is my Star Wars baby!**


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or related concepts. The only things I own are things/people/aliens you don't recognize, unless otherwise stated in a disclaimer. I OWN A PLANET! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Additional disclaimer at bottom.

A/N: Thank you, reviewers, your reviews mean a lot to me. This is my first Star Wars fic, so please do not be too harsh in your reviews, however, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Flames will be used to power Jango Fett's jet pack.

Chapter three

I have no clue how my speeder and I got home, but we did, and I woke up the next morning a zombie, just kind of existing. Everything was going in slow motion; my brain was still processing what I had found the previous day.

I slowly walked into the kitchen and sat, head in my hands. My mother stood, biting into an apple. "What's wrong, Blaise?" she asked, a suspicious look on her face.

Silence. "Nothing," I said, after a while.

"You know something, don't you?"

"I… I snuck into the Jedi Temple yesterday."

Silence once more, on her part this time. She sat down across from me. "What happened?"

"I… I'm a…"

"You're a Jedi?"

I looked up at her. "How did you…"

"The robes, the lightsaber. How dumb do you think I am, anyway? Hell, how dumb are _you_?"

"Okay, I agree with you there, but—"

"Look, Blaise… I wonder, too. But you have to move on. You're going to the Academy next year, I… I'll probably get back into the Senate. If you don't get your head out of the clouds and out of your fantasies and wonderings…"

I looked at her solemnly. "I understand." My eyes flew to the window, the dawn. "But I have to know."

* * *

_The room is large, (to me, anyway,) but it is filled with younglings such as myself. There are nearly thirty of us and it is somewhat cramped. Master Yoda, smaller than any of us, has trouble demonstrating how to activate our lightsabers because of the kids further in the back._

_He finally is able to have everyone see how to do it, but I still have difficulties with mine because my hands are so small. Another youngling notices my trouble and offers to assist me, and I gladly accept. The next thing Master Yoda shows us is how to use the remotes to help teach us to use the Force when dueling with lightsabers. _

_I am not able to feel when the remote attacks, so I get shocked many times before Yoda finally tells us we are done for the day, but before I go, I walk toward him to talk._

"_Young one. With today's lesson, trouble have you?" Master Yoda asks. _

_I nod. "I can't activate my lightsaber. And I can't even slightly sense the remote's attacks."_

"_Time and training, you need," he says, walking out of the room as I follow. "Impatient, are you. With practice comes ability, yes, yes..."_

"_But everyone else at least blocked something."_

"_To you, everyone else matters not. On yourself, you concentrate. On others, never. Clear, your mind must be. Feel the Force."_

"_Yes, Master—"

* * *

_

I jolted up from the couch, an explosion rocking the building. _What is going on?_ I thought.

The ground was shaking, and then I realized what had happened. The Emperor has realized that in their purge of the Jedi they had missed one: me.

I darted into my room, instantly awake and alert after my impromptu nap, and tore open the drawer where I kept my important belongings. Inside were the Jedi robes, the lightsaber, several holos of my three-year-long life, and the keys to my speeder, among other things. All of these were shoved in a bag, and I bolted out of the room as the ceiling began to collapse. Only then did I realize what I had forgotten.

_The acceptance letter!_

Then again, it was not as if it mattered. If the Emperor truly was after me, it wouldn't be long before he'd find me at Corulag Academy. So I left it, running for my life to get out before the ceilings in the other rooms began collapsing. As I ran across the living room, the ceiling had already begun to fall. And a piece had fallen on my mother. She was dead, or close to it. I hesitated for a moment, pondering bringing her, but there was no time.

The door out to the landing platform had sealed itself shut. The access codes had been changes. I thought about my possibilities. Kick the door out, stay in, or…

I dug into the bag I was carrying, pulling out the lightsaber, remembering the dream. Sliding my finger across the hilt, the blade activated, a startling green in the relative darkness caused by the attack.

With one movement, I cut a smooth circle in the door, kicked through it, deactivated the lightsaber, and climbed out, running toward my speeder. As I revved the engine, three of the Empire's new TIE fighters flew overhead menacingly.

The speeder lifted off the ground and I flew almost vertically upward, testing to see if my suspicions were true. Unfortunately for me, they were. "Damn…" The tie fighters followed as I straightened out; I didn't want to find out just how high the speeder could go.

I sped at the greatest speed possible for the vehicle I was in, but unfortunately the TIE fighters could fly faster. _Let's see how good they are at maneuvering, then…_

The speeder dodged in and out of the buildings, traffic, and other parts of the city. It, thankfully, slowed them down quite a bit, but they were still too close for comfort. I dove down at a 90-degree angle, towards a domed building. The fighters followed. The speeder crept closer… and closer… _Just a little more…_

I pulled up just before I would have hit the dome, launching myself across it. A TIE fighter crashed, but there was little comfort. There were still two more following.

And it was about to get worse.

TSEWW! The TIE fighters began to shoot at me, and I spun to get away, curving around a building under construction. I grazed it as I took a sharp left, then a sharp right. TSEWW! They continued to fire.

"God, what I wouldn't give for my fighter to be finished…" I muttered. I checked the controls, straightening my flight but still going at top speed. The engine was getting overheated. Unless this ended really fast, I would never survive. Either I'd have to slow down and be hit by the TIEs, or keep going and drop from engine failure.

Wait… slow down… stop!

I slowed a little bit, not enough for the fighters to notice but enough so they gained distance toward me. I turned slightly toward a building, running towards it. Judging my distance, I slammed the brakes. The TIE fighters overshot, and crashed into it in one fireball explosion.

I slowly sidled into a parking spot at another apartment building, breathing heavily. I had to get off-planet, and quickly.

* * *

It was a week since I had received the sheet metal from Jhen, and I hadn't had the time to get to work on it, but thankfully I could work a lot harder (and therefore faster,) when needed.

I decided it didn't make sense to redo all the metal when only the left half was blasted. So, in about five hours I had a very strange-looking fighter, half gold-half silver, but it worked. I checked it over one more time, and took a deep breath.

Goodbye, Coruscant. Goodbye, Jedi Temple. Goodbye, T'kayna. Goodbye, mother. Goodbye everything I know. Goodbye, Empire.

Goodbye, Blaise Arrando.

I opened up the cockpit, and looked up at the sky. All the buildings towered over me, glowing in the late night darkness. At that moment, I felt miniscule, as if I didn't even matter in the universe.

A cool wind blew past, and I shivered in the cold. I could almost hear a faint voice talking to me…

_Your life matters, young Jedi._

I pulled myself into the cockpit, and set down my bag. "No sense in dawdling at the door…"

The cockpit shut over me and at once I felt somewhat scared at the small space but I calmed myself quickly. In a few hours, I would be out of the Empire's reach forever.

Now, the question was… Where am I going?

* * *

I pulled up to exit the atmosphere, all worry put out of my mind. Or, at least, for a moment. I looked at my sensor grid to see if any ships were coming and, sure enough…

TSEWW! TSEWW! Two TIE fighters zoomed past and turned, attempting to cut off my escape route. I shot straight towards them, firing my own lasers. With several shots, I had taken out one but the other was very smart. He realized that this ship was thrown together fast, and took shots at where the old and new sheeting met.

I quickly dodged, noticing what he was doing. Since I did it really fast, it may be more vulnerable than if it was fluid. More laser fire. _Damn, this really sucks… If I don't finish this quickly, I may have a bit of a problem._

_Okay, what are my options… _I pulled up data on the nearest systems not under the control of the Empire, and attempted to browse through while dodging the TIE fighter. The two closest systems were Tatooine and Apagata, both not more than two parsecs away, but both about two light-years apart. I pulled up coordinates for both. Not much change…

I took the coordinates of Apagata, and added a two to the second number of each, putting me relatively close to Tatooine. If they got the coordinates, they may think I was heading for Apagata. It was a slim chance, but it was the only one I had.

Pulling out of my path hugging the planet, I quickly locked in the coordinates, and shot off at light-speed. As my course straightened, I locked in the autopilot to take us out of light-speed just slightly away from Tatooine. Then I laid back, drifting into much-needed sleep.

* * *

_A Jedi is coming! The news has spread around the temple for an entire week. All of the potential Padawans, including me, are working harder than ever to attempt to sharpen our skills so that we can be chosen. For some, this will be the last Jedi Knight who comes before they turn 13, too old to continue training. So they are pushing it more than others._

_I am only 11, but I have been also pushing it because I feel that there is little more training Master Yoda can give me. I'm not exactly the most patient person alive, but I am tired of the Temple, and want to see what life is like somewhere, anywhere, else._

_There are two standard hours left, and Master Yoda has us sparring blindfolded. I know I am not the best at sensing opponents, but I will try my best to prove myself._

_My opponent is quick on his feet, that much I have seen in his other matches, but I am more defensive. He prefers the offensive position. I am good at setting up my opponents; he is not as good at sensing traps and foul play._

_I activate my lightsaber, and I am able to barely sense him as he activates his. I focus on him, and only him._

"_Begin, you may," Yoda says, and even before he gets out the first syllable, my opponent is already attacking me. I am able to block or dodge most of his attacks, and I am also able to attempt a few myself. I do not know how long the stalemate lasts, but eventually Yoda stops us._

"_Very well, you did. Impressed are we," he says._

"'_We'?" I ask._

"_Master Oorla and myself."_

"_He's here?" My opponent asks. "Already?"_

"_Yes." A tall man walks out from the crowd of spectators. He lays his hand on my shoulder. "And I have found my new Padawan." _

Disclaimer: I do not own the manuver that Blaise used to escape the TIE fighter is not mine; however, Timothy Zhan invented it in his book _The Last Command. _It is called a Cracken Twist, but I plan on using it later so that I do not mess up any canon. I generally avoid that.

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**Doreen: Thanks for reviewing, I intend to.**


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or related concepts. The only things I own are things/people/aliens you don't recognize, unless otherwise stated in a disclaimer.

A/N: Thank you, reviewers, your reviews mean a lot to me. This is my first Star Wars fic, so please do not be too harsh in your reviews, however, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Flames will be used to torch Lakeville South High School, for Cougars suck and Lakeville North High School's Panthers rule!

Chapter Four

I woke up just a few minutes before pulling out of light-speed. My dream, like usual, drifted out of my mind before I was able to comprehend what info it contained. As I dropped out of hyperspace, I switched the controls over to manual, and begin an orbit around Tatooine.

Through my ship's sensors I found a small home just outside a city and next to a large clear wasteland. I aimed for the clearing, coming in carefully and casually so I did not draw attention to myself. I got out of the ship and surveyed my surroundings.

All that was seen was sand. And rock. Nothing else. Large dunes covered the area, encasing it to look like a sinkhole. An ominous feel came from the planet I stood on.

Reaching into my bag, I hooked the lightsaber onto my belt, feeling that I would need it. As I walked on, sure to leave tracks so I could find my way back, I began to be surer of one thing.

I was not alone.

Hand ready to grab my lightsaber if necessary, I turned around to see if anyone was there. I could feel another presence. I could tell there was someone there.

"Come out, whoever you are!" I called out.

"Luke?" A voice replied.

I jerked my head toward the voice. An older man, with graying blond hair and blue eyes, somewhat of a stereotype of the Jedi, (which he most certainly was as he was wearing Jedi robes,) walked out from the shadow of the largest dune.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"No, you couldn't be him. You're much too old…" He thought out loud. "But you are familiar."

"I've never been here before, how could I know you?" I asked.

"We could have met on Coruscant. I used to live there until… Well, about the time the Empire sprung about."

"You're a Jedi, aren't you?"

His eyes darted toward my lightsaber. "Perhaps. What is your name, friend?"

"Blaise. Blaise Arrando."

"My name is Ben Kenobi. Welcome to Tatooine."

"I have a feeling I'm not staying too long," I said coolly. "The Empire is after me. They think I'm a Jedi."

"They may be right… You do have a lightsaber."

"They are right. As far as I know, anyway," I muttered.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I have no memory beyond three years ago. The only things I own from before that are this…" I gestured toward my lightsaber, "… and a set of Jedi robes."

"Strange. Three years ago is when I left Coruscant."

"I was driven out of Coruscant last night. Imperial fighters attempted to kill me twice."

"Maybe you can remember me by another name: Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi."

A flash of memory was stirred by his name.

"…You were on the Council."

"Yes."

"Who is Luke?" I asked, remembering what he had called me.

Obi-wan hesitated. "Someone I know."

I felt his unease about the topic, so I shifted to something else.

"So... you survived the Empire's purge of all the Jedi?"

"...Only barely."

I could already tell that it was another sensitive topic for him. "Maybe you can help me. Like I said, I lost the majority of my memory a few years back, and therefore all my training as well. I don't think a rough idea of how to use a lightsaber is going to help me any against the Imperial troops, should I ever see any again."

"Maybe I could," Obi-wan said thoughtfully. "Come with me."

Of course, I followed.

* * *

The Jedi's house was simple, but that was to be expected of a person in hiding. There was not much room inside, but from what I had seen of the planet, it didn't need to be. 

Obi-wan, or 'Ben' as he asked me to call him, sat at the small table in the furthest corner of the door. He motioned for me to sit next to him, and I obliged.

"So, 'Blaise,' was it?" I nodded in response. "I assume it's not your real name?"

"No, it isn't. It's the name my adoptive mother gave me when she found me."

"I see. What all have you learned about your past?"

"I looked at a couple security recordings in the Jedi Temple, and I found a recording of me and another Jedi dueling with our lightsabers."

Ben looked solemn. "I remember that recording. The 'Jedi' you dueled is a Sith Lord called Darth Vader."

"Isn't he like the Emperor's second-in-command, or something like that?" I inquired.

"Unfortunately, yes. You must be good at handling a lightsaber to match him."

"I wouldn't know. All I ever remember doing with this is cutting a hole in a locked door to get out of a collapsing building. If you couldn't guess, I'm not exactly too knowledgeable about the whole swordfight bit," I explained.

"So basically what you're saying is you want training. There, I can most likely help you," Ben explained, "but you need to be patient and open-minded in order to successfully master the lightsaber." He laughed. "Perhaps this may be a way to remember things you've long forgotten."

"I wish..."

* * *

I returned to my ship for the night, noticing that Ben's house wasn't exactly built to have visitors. Then again, the fighter wasn't built for a comfortable night's sleep, either, but it worked better than being on the floor in a small hut. 

Ben had walked me back, as night had quickly fallen and he was wary of the 'sand people' who inhabited this region. It was probably a necessary precaution, too, as I didn't own a blaster and was still a bit shaky with a lightsaber, considering the fact that I had just learned how to activate it earlier the same day.

I had a feeling that these next few months would be rather hectic. Between completing my fighter, trying to get my memory back, learning about a new environment, and training with Ben, I wasn't going to have much time to relax. Which was probably a good thing. It would keep my senses sharp and alert.

I locked the controls in my fighter so that when I slept I couldn't bump anything, leaned back, and went to sleep.

* * *

_Master Oorla and I are standing in the Jedi Council room, being briefed about our next assignment; a trip to a planet generally overlooked by most everyone called Olani. There were rumors that Count Dooku and General Grievous were meeting there with the Separatist leaders. I had heard the actual rumor and couldn't sense if they were true or not, but apparently the council has an idea of their validity._

"_At Olani, danger you will face. If there, Dooku and Grievous are, confront them you must," Master Yoda says._

"_Master Yoda, what of my apprentice? I do not believe he is ready for such a battle, if need be," Master Oorla asks. I stare at him, confused. Why am I not ready?_

"_The council feels that Tobias is ready," a holographic Ki-Adi-Mundi replies. "He will be able to help in this mission."_

_I feel somewhat confused. They are talking about me as if I am not even here. What am I doing to deserve this? I have fought in this war, I have defended others. _

_"Until you are on the council, you must respect our judgment, Master Oorla," Master Windu comments. He might as well have said that Master Oorla's chances of being selected for the council are miniscule, perhaps even nonexistent._

_Oorla sighs. We bow and leave the council chambers._

_"Master, why don't you think I am ready?" I ask as soon as we are in the hallway. "I can fight, I have fought, probably in battles much harder than this!"_

_"That is why. You are much too overconfident. Count Dooku is not a standard battle droid, nor a starship to be destroyed. Neither is General Grievous,'' Oorla says. "A battle against either is much more difficult than any other battle you have faced."_

_"The council thinks I am ready. Why do you argue?"_

_"...We need to get going."_

_"You're dodging the question."_

_"I said, we need to get going."_

_I sigh. "Yes, Master."

* * *

_

The intensity of the sunlight woke me, and I had to shield my eyes as I walked toward Ben's little shack. At that point, nothing was processing in my mind. If something was, I'd probably have wondered why I still remembered my dream...

"So, why hasn't it occurred to most Jedi to use their power for themselves?"

"In most cases, Force-sensitive children are taken from their homes at a young age to the temple so they do not learn of such power," Ben explained. "There were only a few special occasions that happened differently."

"What happened to them?" I asked. I could feel it was another sensitive subject, but I needed to know.

"Several left the Jedi Order. Another became Darth Vader."

"The one I fought." He nodded. "What's his story?"

I was treading in waters infested with dianogas, I could feel it. But, after a considerable silence, he finally spoke.

"His name was Anakin Skywalker. He was on the council by the request of the Supreme Chancellor, though he did not gain the rank of Jedi Master. Anakin was infuriated. He turned to Palpatine for comfort and encouragement, rather than his master. Palpatine was a Sith lord.

"Anakin was corrupted by Palpatine and blinded by his love for a senator, Padmé Amidala of Naboo. He and the soon-to-be Emperor destroyed the Jedi, and the Clone Wars were finished. Anakin betrayed his master, and they dueled on Mustafar. His master won, and Anakin was horribly injured. He became Darth Vader when he discovered that his wife, Padmé, had died of a broken heart."

Though I was somewhat hesitant, I needed to know one more thing.

"Who was his master?"

"...Obi-wan Kenobi."

"You were his master?"

"He was my first and last Padawan. Jedi Master Yoda and I are the only Jedi, apart from you, who we know survived. His story is an ironic dilemma."

"What's so ironic about it?" I asked.

"Anakin had been having dreams; visions, really. About Padmé dying in childbirth. He was trying to find a way to save her. The Emperor used this, and told him that only the Sith could stop death. He became a Sith to save her, but by becoming a Sith he killed her. She lost the will to live after realizing what he had done."

"You're right. Quite ironic. But I believe his punishment is suitable, though there is no way to bring back all the lives he has taken. Having to live knowing all the people you love have died, knowing you killed them, knowing that you only wanted to help, knowing that you were selfish about everything, is really difficult."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "How do you know this?"

"My mom was killed when I fled from Coruscant. And it's my fault. Because I was a Jedi. Because I only wanted to know who I was. Because I only wanted to remember. I wanted so much, yet gave so little…"

"It is not your fault that the Emperor does not like Jedi. And that is the only reason he wanted to kill you."

"But if I hadn't gone to the temple, he wouldn't have known who I was. It is my fault," I pushed.

"A Jedi has no fault over what happens, if it is the will of the Force."

"What if it wasn't?" I counter. "How do you know what the will of the Force is? Does the Force just walk up to you and say 'Hello, I want your mom dead,' or what?"

"We mourn the dead, but we do not dwell on it. Death is a part of life, Blaise."

"Why does it have to be?"

"…You're being a hypocrite."

"What's so hypocritical?"

"You say that Anakin is being punished knowing that his wife is dead thanks to his selfishness, and you are being hypocritical because you are being selfish and wanting your mother back."

I was silent.

"I can't train you if you can't accept death. It is sad that your mother died, but you cannot revolve your life around it," He said carefully. "I want to help you. But I can't unless you help yourself."

"Well, maybe I don't want to help myself," I snapped, walking out of the house.

* * *

I sat in the sand, leaning against my fighter, staring at the two suns setting. It was way too warm for me on this planet, but even after the argument I had with Ben, I couldn't bring myself to jump into my fighter and leave. 

I sighed. And then it occurred to me that I hadn't forgotten the previous night's dream. I scanned my memories, searching for something, anything that had the possibility of being useful—

Tobias. The Jedi Master had called me Tobias. I had a name, a real name that I had been given by my real mother. No longer was I Blaise; no longer was I a name that had no true meaning for me.

I am Tobias.

I rested my eyes, calming down from the conflict with Ben.

Speaking of which…

"No need to sneak up on me," I said. "I can sense you."

"I expected at least that much," Ben said, walking up behind me. "Actually, I expected you to be halfway across the galaxy at this point."

"So did I. I guess I just needed to cool down a bit."

"I suppose so." He eyed me curiously. "There's something on your mind."

"It's nothing."

"Tell me."

I sighed. "I just remembered something. Beyond three years ago, I mean."

"A dream?"

Nodding, I replied, "My name. In a dream I had last night, someone referred to me by name: Tobias."

"Hm. Now I remember where I've seen you before. You were at the temple with… Master Oorla, I believe. Good man, powerful Jedi. Quite funny, if I remember correctly. He died near the end of the Clone Wars."

I heard a bellowing noise. "What was that?"

He listened. "A Bantha. Tusken Raiders are about."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"As do I, Tobias. As do I…

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